brinchen's posterous

Ich glaube zwar nicht, dass sich jemand so viel durchlesen möchte, aber wenn doch, dann hier eine kurze Info :) Es spielt in dem Sommer, nachdem Hiroshi und Ichiko zusammengekommen sind, alle müssten 14/15 sein. Bei inhaltlichen Unklarheiten einfach nachfragen - ich merke es nicht, wenn ich was schreibe, was niemand außer mir versteht :D

It was the end of a warm summer day, night had come and Ichiko, Chinatsu, Hiroshi and Shiro were still lying on there usual place at the riverbank. While gazing at the night sky above, the long grass tickled them slightly and though it began to become cold, they did not seem to want to go home soon. For a while, Chinatsu stared at a little, but brightly shining star. Because it was a very clear night without clouds, the sky was covered with stars and though there were so many of them, that small star attracted Chinatsu’s attention as it was greatly trying to stand out.

“Did you see a shooting star yet?“, she finally said with a quiet and kind of dreamy voice, still looking at the dark blue sky. “I think I once saw one when I was little, together with my parents.”, Hiroshi said. “I don’t know, but I don’t remember seeing one.”, Ichiko replied. “Me neither.”, Shiro said after turning around to Chinatsu. “I’d like to see one.” , Chinatsu told them and somewhat to herself she said “So I can wish for something…” “You believe in that rubbish?” Hiroshi said sceptical and sat straight, looking at her in surprise. “I didn’t expect you to be that kind of person.” Ignoring Hiroshi, Ichiko rolled over towards Chinatsu. “You don’t need a falling star to whish for something. Many people believe in making a wish upon a normal star, too. My father always told me that stars are meant to fulfil the wishes because they notice your desires even if you don’t tell them directly.” Ichiko could now see Chinatsu’s eyes glowing as they were illuminated by the lights of the sky, her mouth a little open and her cheeks and lips gently red. In the same, dreamy voice you could hear her saying “Really…”, her eyes still stuck on the same point. Hiroshi glanced at Ichiko, who had now the same, dreamful expression on her face as Chinatsu, then he looked up to the sky and finally his look halted at Chinatsu again. He let his hand graze over his face and, sighing, he said convinced: “The stars aren’t the ones who make our dreams reality. By wishing upon a star, we concentrate on our wish and work really hard for it. Because of that it eventually becomes true. The stars aren’t doing anything.” “Man, I hate your logic.” Ichiko let out, now looking down on the grass beside her. “Well, I agree with Hiroshi.” Shiro said and sit straight next to Hiroshi. Very quiet, so that he could nearly heard it, Ichiko said “Well, we know you do…”, but Shiro continued: “It’s a nice idea that stars could fulfil our wishes, but wouldn’t it be sad, if they come true, though we didn’t do anything for it? Besides, it’s not like they wouldn’t help us. After all, we get the courage to move on because we believe in the wishes we made.”

Nobody had something to say for the next moments, but Ichiko seemed a bit impressed, now thinking hard about what Shiro and Hiroshi said. “It still seems sad to me…” she thought “I can’t stop believing in miraculous things, my father always loved to tell me those kind of stories.” Not wanting to continue thinking about whether your wish comes true by telling it stars or who the one is who fulfils it, she said to Chinatsu: “Well, what would you like to wish for, anyway?” Hiroshi and Shiro lied down again, next to Ichiko. “I think I’d end up wishing for something common, like that the people around me stay healthy and stuff. Actually I always wished for that.”, she said, answering the question herself. Hiroshi’s eyes widen, then became more narrow by looking at her. “I don’t think I could wish for something like that. I wouldn’t be honest, since I have way more selfish wishes. Maybe that’s why they don’t come true.” Chinatsu said in a quiet and by now sad voice. “I think that doesn’t matter. I rather think, the more honest the better. If anything, stars would fulfil wishes from people who really need them to be fulfilled, who can’t reach their goal by themselves.” Ichiko tried to console her, adding “Besides, it’s not like my wish became true…even though I always wished for that...” Hearing that, Hiroshi instantly turned to her and carefully draw his hand nearer until it touched hers, grabbing it. Ichiko looked at him in surprise, but he covered his face with his other hand and said “Don’t talk like that. You just said they fulfil wishes of people who can’t do it alone. So you can. You have more strength than you think.” In a denying voice, but smiling, Ichiko said “And here I thought you don’t believe in rubbish like that.”, returning his grab, “You heard him, Chinatsu.” “Yeah”, she wiped away the tears which gathered in her eyes and smiled, “I did.”. And with the laughter of the four of them, the summer day ended.

Eigentlich müsste ich ja schon im Bett sein, aber ich kann doch nicht einfach mitten beim Schreiben aufhören und schlafen gehen. Also poste ich eben noch die Szene, die ich gerade geschrieben hab und geh dann ins Bett :)

Sie spielt am ersten Tag, nachdem Ichiko bei Hiroshi eingezogen ist, weil ihr Vater wieder ins weiter entfernte Krankenhaus musste, ihre Mutter mit ging und Kaito nicht will, dass sie wieder alleine im Haus ist und sie sich an die Zeit von vor ein paar Jahren errinert. Alles was in Ich-Form geschrieben ist, ist aus der Sicht von Hiroshi. Ich hoffe, euch gefällt die erste Szene aus I'm with you, die nicht nur ein Dialog oder ein Gedankengang ist :)

I wake up covered in sweat, my back hurts, my head aches and my throat is parched. I look at my alarm-clock – 3:45 am, great. Since I don’t feel like going to sleep again, I walk down the creaking stairs and drink some water to calm myself down again.

I’m just about to return to my room when I see the door to Ichiko’s room being open a little.

Yesterday was the day Ichiko moved in, because her father had to be hospitalized again a few days ago. If I can’t even sleep well because of what happened to her father, how does she feel? When I think about the situation Ichiko is in now, my throat tightens and my head begins to hurt. On top of that, I feel bad, because, though it was just for one moment, I thought it will be fun if Ichiko is here. How foolish I am, not even the thought that Ichiko must be totally scared steadily came to my mind. Maybe she can’t sleep, too? Quietly, I open the door a bit more, but it’s so dark, I can’t see if Ichiko’s sleeping or not. I sneak to her futon in the right side of the room and sit down in front of her.

Ichiko lies on her side, her legs bent and her hands beside her face just like you would imagine a kid would sleep if the parents aren’t home and outside it begins to thunder. When Hiroshi looks at her face, his eyes narrow and his hands clench and begin to tremble. Her eyes are wet and swollen and a nearly dried tear flows down her cheeks. Drops of tears probably made the futon wet and Hiroshi sees the dry patches straight under her chin. The shock in Hiroshi’s face disappears and instead of it an expression of sorrow shows up. His eyebrows go down and he bits his lip which began to tremble.

I can’t do anything for her. I didn’t though I knew that she was probably sitting in her room, helpless and trying to think of something else, that time after her father was home for a few days. And I didn’t do anything as I heard her father collapsed again. What sort of friend am I, anyway? I know she’s suffering, I know she must be thinking that that time when she was alone in the world will recur, now, that neither her father nor her mother are home. But I can’t do anything expect sitting and watching her suffer as she sleeps.

Those thoughts come to his mind one after another and when there was nothing more to think about, nothing more to complain about himself and his doings, his expression finally uncramps and he continues to glance at Ichiko. Her cheeks bright red, as well as the tip of nose, her mouth staying open a little while she breaths heavy but unregulated and her hair tousled while her forehead is covered in sweat. Hiroshi’s look goes down a bit and he sees that her hands are clenched just like his was a moment ago. The tips of her shivery, thin fingers are rosy and the more Hiroshi looks at Ichiko the more he realizes how scared she is and that there’s no way that she knows what she should do alone. She must be thinking that nothing has changed, that she’s still this little, frightened and helpless girl and that there’s nobody in the world who would comfort her. As this comes to Hiroshi’s mind, his hand begins to move and as soon as his fingertip touches Ichiko’s, he feels the warmth of it. Holding her hand and feeling the softness and warmth but the trembling as well, Hiroshi lies down beside Ichiko and when he notices that her trembling is decreasing and her breath is beginning to become more regularly, his eyes are closing and nothing of the feeling that he couldn’t sleep anymore remains.

When Ichiko wakes up, she shrinks back and blushes, but as her hand slips from his, her expression freezes and her mouth opens up. Yet, the next moment, her eyes relax and she lies down again, taking that hand she just let go. The next morning, Hiroshi’s mother comes by, looks inside the room, blushes, but then starts grinning, probably thinking that it was a good thing to leave the door to her room open.

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Jaa, ich kann auch endlich mal wieder einen Eintrag schreiben. Ich hatte in den letzten Wochen auch wenig Zeit, aber auch irgendwie keine Lust anzufangen was zu schreiben oder zu zeichnen, obwohl ich Ideen hatte... Aber das ist jetzt hoffentlich wieder vorbei.

Auf dem ersten Bild sind Chinatsu & Kaito, ist von gestern. Ich muss mehr Kaitos zeichnen, damit ich seine Frisur auswendig lerne :D Damit hab ich immer wieder Probleme.

Die zweite Skizze ist schon älter, auch ein Kaito, der etwas jung geraten ist, aber egal, der war ja schließlich auch mal jünger. Ich muss unbedingt ne Szene oder n Dialog mit Kaito schreiben, ich mag den so gern.

Das letzte Bild ist von gersten Nacht, sollen Hikari & Takeru sein, aber es war 3 Uhr nachts und irgendwann hab ich alles nur noch verschwommen gesehen, deshalb sieht Takeru jetzt so aus...ich zeichne nochmal nen niedlichen, gestern hatte ich da keinen Nerv mehr für.

Ich hab übrigens auch schon Ideen wie ich Alaska weiter schreibe und eine Szene aus I'm with you will ich auch schreiben :3 Ich möchte jetzt öfters ganze zusammenhängende Szenen schreiben, also wirklich so wie bei Alaska und nicht nur Dialoge und Gedankengänge. Da ich die Szenen aus I'm with you nie in Mangaform zeichnen werde ( weil ich 1. dazu nicht die Zeit habe und 2. ich nie zufrieden wäre und 3. ich zu oft dafür Dinge in der Story änder, auch wenn es nur Kleinigkeiten sind), will ich wenigstens wichtige Szenen komplett aufschreiben :) Vielleicht hab ich da heute Abend ja schon Zeit zu!

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Wieso muss ich eigentlich mittlerweile in jedem Post schreiben, dass ich noch lebe...? Traurig.

Die erste Skizze zeigt den Hauptcharakter (Rin) und ihren Hund (Piro) aus einer Kurzgeschichte von mir, die ich eventuell schreiben möchte (also wie eine Light Novel mit ein paar Bildern). Auf die Story bin ich im Englischunterricht gekommen, als wir uns einen Klappentext zu einem Titel (Looking for Alaska) ausdenken sollten. Das Buch lesen wir jetzt übrigens auch, aber die Charaktere darin sind so ekelhaft, bah, ich hätt lieber meine Geschichte gelesen...Unten gibts noch den (Anfang vom) Prolog :) Achja, Rins Haare sind übrigens rot ^-^

Auf der zweiten Skizze sind die kleine Menma und Anaru aus "Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae wo Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai" <3 <3

In my village, when night comes, the mother and the father take their child to bed and all of them talk a bit more before the day finally ends. The children enjoy listening to bedtime stories or the singing of their mother. Well, I don’t have a mother, so I couldn’t listen to songs my mother would sing, but I had a wonderful, caring father. Most of the parents read stories from books to their children, but for me, it was different. My father did never take a book out of the shelf; instead, he told me stories by himself, tales about his own life. He always told me about his journeys to that impressive country – Alaska. I remember everything of it, because he told me about it again and again with so much passion, I could only be astonished.

“On the first view, everything is white. To the left, to the right, before and behind you, you can only see those big, white mountains in the back or gigantic snowscapes which don’t seem to have an end. But then, when you calmed down, you notice this sky above you, dark blue, look, a blue just as your eyes! And this sky really is endless, it outstretches itself even beyond those huge mountains. When I first saw that firmament, shining with thousands of little stars, illuminating the snow-white fields to my foots, I was sure it was the most beautiful thing you can find on earth. But, you know? I was wrong. My little Rin is definitely more beautiful! Someday, I want to show you this country. I don’t know anything which could make me happier than seeing you gazing  at the scenery of Alaska right next to me.” “I wanna go! I wanna go! Immediately!” “Not yet. But I promise I will take you as soon as you are a bit older, okay?” “Humpf…I hate waiting…” “ Just look forward to it, Alaska’s stilll there in a few years.”

I cherished that promise and my father had to tell me tales about Alaska every evening. I didn’t know, when I would be old enough to go, but that didn’t matter back then, because I knew – my father doesn’t lie. He will take me.

That was six years ago. Now I’m twelve. My father didn’t take me to Alaska and he won’t in the future, because three years ago, he died in an accident at work. He didn’t fulfil his promise. But I’m not mad. I’m not that childish anymore to think my father broke his promise, because he’s evil and doesn’t love me. He had no choice. Neither had I. Now, I’ve got a wish. I want to see Alaska, so that I could understand the glaring in my father’s eyes when he told me about that beautifulness of the mountains, the fields and the sky of Alaska. I want to see it myself. I want to get to know the part of my father I didn’t know about before.

Ich lebe noch!! orz Oben ne Chinatsu mit Zopf, ich war auch schonmal fleißiger, hab aber momentan so wenig Zeit und Lust, trotz Ideen...

Unten noch ein recht kurzer Text, der mir in den Sinn kam, als ich Spanisch lernen sollte. Ist von Hikari, als sie noch in der Mittelschule war.

Pain is painful

 “What’s the most painful thing which can happen to someone?“, I asked. “That a person you love dies, obviously.” Yeah, that must be painful. It must be horrible, when someone so important to you dies. But is it the most painful thing? I thought about it. When a person near to you dies, you’ll be sad. And – if it’s possible – the person who died, will be sad, too, because he had to leave you and everyone else. At least you’ll think that he is. But something else came to my mind. When a person you love, a person you want to help whenever you can, a person you would do everything for, leaves you. And leaves you, because he wants to. Because he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. Because he doesn’t want to text you anymore. Because he does not love you, does not like you, because you aren’t the least bit important to him. He just leaves you. You don’t know why. You can’t do anything about it. Knowing, that this person will never laugh with you again, that this person doesn’t want to laugh with you. Well, no, that’s somehow wrong. It’s not that he thinks “I don’t want to talk or to laugh with her again”, it’s probably more like, well, that he doesn’t think about it. He’s forgetting you, because you didn’t manage to find a place in his heart. So – when a person dies, you’ll never see him again. When a person leaves you, you’ll never see him again, either. But to know that it was his decision to leave you, to know, that it didn’t have to turn out like that, wouldn’t that be…well, just maybe, more painful? I don’t really know myself. But just hypothetical, when I think about it, I feel sadder. If someone dies, you can hate this world. This unfairness of our world we live in. If someone leaves you, leaves your world you live in, you can just hate yourself, if at all. You can’t even hate this person. Because, no matter what he does, you’ll still love him. Or at least the past self of this person you knew. For me, to imagine this, is pretty painful, I must say. Well, “imagine”, I don’t need to imagine it. It did happen to me already. Both occasions.

Klausurphase ist ätzend. Ich will mehr zeichnen, hab aber entweder keine Zeit oder keine Lust, weil ich müde bin orz Und für Dialoge brauche ich absolute Ruhe ;__; Vlt. hab ich am WE ja Zeit...so mitten im Lernen hat man ja immer die besten Ideen orz

Aber erstmal wird am WE Pokemon gesuchtet!

Bin ich eigentlich die einzige, die ein Serpifeu und kein Floink hat? D:

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Es tut mir sehr Leid, dass ich in letzter Zeit niemandem kommentiert habe orz Klausurphase fängt jetzt wieder an, alles ist stressig und ich habe seit 2 Wochen nicht mehr gezeichnet. Ich geb mir Mühe, dass ich die nächsten Tage eure Einträge wieder kommentieren kann ;__; Ich hab mir aber immer alles durchgelesen!

1) 4Koma, dass ich letztens mal gezeichnet habe. Die Idee ist bestimmt schon ein halbes Jahr alt ^-^

2) Ich war bei Lush, 'nem Laden für Bade- und Duschzeug, das unheimlich toll riecht. Bin zu faul jetzt alles darauf audzuzählen, aber ich rieche gerade toll nach Vanille <3

Ich geh jetzt Latein "lernen" ...man sieht sich oder so orz

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2) Maru, mal wieder. Ich mag Maru. Maru ist lieb. Maru ist toll. Will ihn haben.

3) Hiroshi - sieht ein ein wenig zu jung aus, weil sein Gesicht so rund geworden ist, aber was soll's ^-^

Ich hab vorgestern eine Art Zeitstrahl oder Übersicht von meiner Geschichte "I'm with you!" aufgeschrieben, hat mit Winzschrift 3 DinA4 Blätter eingenommen, Abtippen hat Ewigkeiten gedauert orz Hab ihn einfach mal als Seite gepostet. Es ist so ein tolles Gefühl, alle Ereignisse geordnet zu haben *__* Hätte nicht gedacht, dass ich das mal mache. Würd ich meine Geschichte als Manga zeichnen, wäre er definitiv über 50 Bände lang, da müssen viel zu viele wichtige Ereignisse rein. Beim Zeitstrahl sind jetzt auch lediglich Ereignisse drin, die irgendetwas verändern und nicht noch die ganzen Treffen mit Leuten usw. Außerdem wäre mein Manga irgendeine Mischung aus Drama, Slice of Live, Romance, Comedy und School Life...xD"

Ich will ganz viele Situationen daraus zeichnen, weiß gar nicht wo ich anfangen soll ;__; Ich hab so viele Bilder im Kopf, aber überhaupt keine Zeit...Achja! Meine Dialoge haben jetzt Titel! Hurhur.

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1) Hiroshi + Anzu, ich bin in Sommerstimmung! Ich will, dass es endlich wieder warm wird! So richtig schön, dass man bis spät abends draußen sitzen kann bis es dann langsam kühler wird *__* Außerdem will ich keine Jacken mehr anziehen. Ein Stück von Hiroshis Beine hat der Scanner abgefressen.

2) Haha, ja xD" Alle Augen meiner weiblichen Charas nebeneinander. Manche wären recht einfach zu erraten, wenn man sie kennt :3 Es macht so Spaß, verschiedene Augen zu zeichnen. Irgendwie weiß ich sofort bei einem Charakter, was für Augen er hat. Hiyori hat zum Beispiel total runde Augen und Wimpern, Ichiko hat zwar runde Augen, aber keine runden Wimpern, Chinatsus Augen sind schräg und sie hat kurze Augenbrauen usw. Wenn ich nur ein Auge anschaue, hab ich sofort den Charakter vor mir wie er mich anlächelt (oder auch nicht...) <3

3) Das gleiche mit meinen männlichen Charakteren!

4) Ann Sketch, ich muss ihre Haare üben orz Ich muss sie auch mal in ihrer Schuluniform aus der anderen Stadt zeichnen mit Teru und Maya ^-^ Mit Teru wollte ich sie sowieso bald noch zeichnen! Ich mag Jungen-Mädchen Freundschaften ohne Liebe echt gerne, weil die immer so kumpelhaft sind. Und ich finde es toll, wenn Jungen und Mädchen miteinander über alles reden können.

5) Hiyori. Ich schreib viel zu wenig über sie, dabei mag ich sie und ihre Geschichte so ;__; Vielleicht mach ich bald einen Geschwister-Dialog zwischen Hikari und Hiyori.

6) Ichiko - so sitzt sie immer morgens vor Hiroshis Haus, wenn sie auf ihn warten muss, was leider sehr oft vorkommt. Stellt euch einfach vor, da wär noch ne Wand an die sie sich lehnt, ich bin so faul was Hintergründe angeht, bei Skizzen sowieso.

Achja, bevor ichs vergesse: Wenn ihr irgendwelche Themen habt, über die ihr gerne einen Dialog lesen würdet, würde ich mich freuen, wenn ihr sie mir mittelt :3 Das können auch nur Aussagen, Zitate oder Fragen sein, meine Charaktere sagen dann ihre Meinung dazu ^-^ Vielleicht auch einfach was, was euch beschäftigt oder worüber ihr nachdenkt? Mir hilft es immer, Dialoge über sowas zu schreiben, weil mich die Gedanken meiner Charas auf ganz neue Ansichten bringen.

Den Wunsch nach Chinatsu + Kaito und Natsuki habe ich übrigens auch nicht vergessen! Muss nur ein wenig überlegen, sobald ich wieder Zeit habe! :)

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1) Kiyokos Freundin, zweite Schulfreundin von ichiko und Chinatsu. Sie hat sich wohl von allen Charakteren am meisten verändert, sowohl vom Charakter her als auch vom Aussehen und sogar ihr Name. Von Ayaka über Natsuki bis hin zu Shizuka. Nun bin ich aber zufrieden, sie bleibt eine Shizuka ^-^

2) Eine der Schulfreundinnen von Kaito und Co. , die ich letztens schon mal gepostet hab, allerdings mit einer anderen Frisur. Sie nimmt jetzt den Namen Natsuki an. Natsuki ist dumm. Sie versteh nichts von der Welt, nichts Schulisches, nicht einmal sich selbst :D Aber wer versteht sich selbst und die Welt schon?

3) Maru und Hiyori in Schuluniformen. Maru sieht darin viel zu brav aus o_o Dass der sich so aus dem Haus traut. Und nein, seine Mütze nimmt er nicht ab. Leider ist mir aufgefallen, dass Maru zu klein ist - er ist zwar klein, da er ein, zwei cm kleiner als Hiroshi ist, obwohl dieser 1 1/2 Jahre jünger ist, allerdings müsste er neben Hiyori, das kleinste Mädchen ihrer Altersklasse, definitiv größer sein >__< Egal.

4) Perspektivenkritzel aus einer Freistunde mit Ann im Bild. Irgendwie machen Fluchtpunkte Spaß. Wenn ich wüsste, wie eine japanische Straße mit Häusern aussieht, hätte ich's noch detailierter gemacht xD"

Dialog zwischen Chinatsu und Ichiko

Ichiko sleeps over at Chinatu's place after Shiro and Ann came together. They're sitting on her bed, then Chinatsu says something.

„Hey, Ichiko, do you think luck is divided equitable in the world?”

“Huh? No…if that was true, there wouldn’t be this many sad people.”

“I get the feeling that there’s just a particular amount of luck, so that a few people seem to have just bad luck and others seem to have no bad luck at all. Everybody should have equal luck, right?”

“Hm…but then you would know that there will be a very sad time if you’re really happy at the moment.”

“But you would know that you will be happy again someday.”

“Well, I want to decide by myself if I’m happy or not.”

“That’s my point – you can’t decide it by yourself. Other people, even your friends could do something which really hurts you, though you didn’t do anything wrong. How comes that you can cause so much pain for someone by being happy? Shouldn’t the world be more fair?”

“So you want people to be just this happy that they won’t hurt someone? If you never feel pain, you won’t feel real happiness either.”

“…maybe I want that. As long as I don’t know if I’ll be happy ever again, I don’t want to feel sorrow. If the world was fair, I could just wait until the situation has changed and I’m not sad anymore.”

“I wouldn’t be pleased that way. I’ll be happy by doing nothing? I want my actions to be the cause of my happiness! Then I can be truly proud of myself. You know, maybe you get the feeling that there’s no justice in this world at all and of course there are times you’ll be hurt, though you aren’t at fault, but even if you think, you will never smile and laugh from heart again, you can always change your life and make it a better one .”

“…but there are times, when nothing I could do would change the situation. I could do my best and more, but he won’t see me the way I want.”

“I know…others can interfere with your wishes and dreams. But if you remain the way you are, there will be people who cherish you because of that. I can imagine how you’ll feel when you absolutely know your dream won’t come true. But, you know, everything changes. And so do your wishes. Recently I thought about something like that and I came to the conclusion that love doesn’t have to be the best you can accomplish. I think that friendship can be as important. Of course I wouldn’t want to miss the smiles I have with Hiroshi, but I wouldn’t want to miss the ones I have with you or Shiro or Kaito.”

“But now, everything’s over. There’s no way I can talk with him like I used to. I can’t smile at him anymore.”

“Of course you can! If you’re working hard, you’ll be even better friends. And then he sees you in a different way than Ann. Nothing’s over. See? I’m here with you, Hiroshi thinks about you too and Kaito and Hiyori. Even Shiro and Ann, everyone. If you look at it that way, there isn’t much which has changed, right?”

“Hehe…yes. I’ll try to be like myself again. You’ll help me, right? Want to go to the festival tomorrow with everyone?”

“Yes!”